Someone that has never been through the same thing as I have might wonder why on earth I stayed on Yasmin or any other birth control for so long... but it wasn't that easy - nowhere did I get the support I needed to get all this figured out. This is a short summary of some of the things I experienced while on Yasmin with numerous issues:
No, it is not related – it is just you, you stupid little girl
She told me I was making a very adult decision by sticking with birth control pills after she had pointed out that it was 99% safe. She wasn’t concerned about any side effects – as the worst thing that could happen to me was that 1% chance of getting pregnant. I trusted her, I trusted my gynecologist.
I had been taking different types of birth control pills for four years up until that point. But since nothing had really worked for me as I was having heavy bleedings in-between periods on every pill I had tried I was told that Yasmin was the new and great pill. I was told it was so good and safe that I had to go with it. There were really no other options left for me in the way my gynecologist was speaking to me. You would have thought that she could have recommended me to use any of the non-hormonal options that are available but that was not even discussed. At that point however, I did feel hopeful; a new and improved pill...
That new and improved pill, Yasmin, soon became the one and only reason I visited doctors with all sort of specialties, only I didn’t realize it. I did not understand that it was all linked to the pill, how could I when it had nothing to do with my cycles or uterus?! My bleedings had become a little bit better so in my mind this new and wonderful pill was truly much better than the rest! And no doctor even raised an eye brow when I told them I was on Yasmin either so it never even occurred to me.
Unfortunately the real truth was that I had started to have heart palpitations, insomnia, and became extremely depressed and sensitive. But at the same time I was also very busy with college and I blamed it all on school. I used to lay awake all night listening to my heart beats and was so afraid of falling asleep in case I would not wake up. When the morning came I used to open my dorm room door wide open and fall asleep so that in case I didn’t wake up, someone would find me.
Every time I went for an EKG my heart beat was ok, go figure, so instead of being a patient that needed help I soon became a hypochondriac in the eyes of the doctors and my complaints were ignored. I never knew what to do about my insomnia besides for let myself fall asleep whenever I could, which wasn’t long or often but it was the best I could do. The depression and sensitiveness grew on me and I didn’t realize it – I thought it was just the new, more adult, and mature me.
Then the bleedings came back full force. I was bleeding more than I was not in every cycle. Having a relationship was hard and embarrassing for me as I felt extremely dirty all the time. I went back to my gynecologist who sent me to a specialist and after doing the examination he found nothing wrong with me but prescribed me two different antibiotics just in case and before leaving the room the specialist looked at me and said these exact words: “your bleedings are probably caused by you being depressed, go and do something fun”.
I felt so worthless after that point and was embarrassed of being me. I started to shut down. I would not tell anyone how I was feeling even though more and more symptoms grew on me. But still I had no idea that it was related to Yasmin, in my mind it was all just me; something that was pretty much verified by the doctors I had been seeing… So I kept taking Yasmin for another five years and became a person that was more or less a shell of the old me... Yasmin user from 2002 to 2009
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