Yasmin and I

For as many people that I have been trying to “save” from heart disease and false information, I myself have been walking a straight path to stroke and heart attack every single day. I never cared to take a look at myself; I ignored the signs for the benefit.

It is almost funny how someone like me can even be in a situation like this. But it is not funny… it is scary to say the least. I have made a horrible mistake, probably the biggest mistake of my life, and for what?!

Today when I look at it – the benefit isn’t worth it, not even a little bit. Not for anyone! I understand that I didn’t know better when I was 18… but NOW after experience the side effects for so long. But instead of question them; I have taken the side effects into my life and I have accepted them as part of me and my life. How crazy is that?! I have done something that I tell other people to watch out for… How can I be so stupid???

My biggest mistake is my companion Yasmin. She has been here for probably 6 or 7 years. Before her I was friends with some others, but Yasmin was introduced to me as the new and fresh thing, the better thing. The safer thing.

It started with me wanting to be protected against pregnancies off course but after having numerous of issues with the first few brand names I tried you would have thought that someone simply would have said that I should just stay off the pill completely. That is off course not what happened, since no one put two and two together. I was recommended Yasmin as the last option, take it or leave it. I wish someone would have told me to leave it, because I took it. And I have been taking it ever since.

Side effects
The very same year I started my pills I developed pollen allergy, and my allergies have been developed into other allergies as well since then. My vision has been drastically decreased the last few years. Not long ago I received my first prescription glasses ever due to my lack of ability to see in the dark. I was seriously a traffic danger before my glasses. The optician classified my problem as astigmatism, and that is normal I guess… But my vision issues goes beyond that. Sometimes I can’t see what I am actually looking at. It is like something is blocking the exact point I am looking at that I have to look just a bit to the side of what I want to look at… It is milder than the migraine aura but similar. At first I thought all of these vision issues were due to old age (I’m 29) but I am not convinced anymore. I am starting to believe that this is because of the pill…

So far I have told you about my allergies and my vision blurs, and there is more to come. For years I have been suffering from bad sleep and hard time falling asleep and this has resulted in me being tired all the time. Never felt rested. Headaches and neck pain has also been two close companions. Probably because the body can’t take up any water and is dehydrated.

Another issue that I have been battling with is my heart. I can wake up in the middle of the night with it beating like I am running for my life and sometimes the heart beats are so hard that it hurts and it feels like the heart is going to explode out of my body.

I experience panic/anxiety attacks that are a mix of heart palpitation issues, feeling warm, feeling faint, and feeling that I have to either vomit or run to the bathroom. Off course the only thing I can do is lie down in my bed to try to breathe calmly. Standing up is not even an option when this happens. I don’t even think I would be able to take myself to a car if I had to be transported to the hospital without passing out.

So all the above mentioned side effects (allergies, sleep issues, vision problems, head aches, heart palpitations, feeling faint, and panic/anxiety attacks) are things that I only have to deal with sometimes. They don’t haunt me every day. They don’t remind me every day that something is wrong. But I have one thing that does – one thing that I will never get rid of from taking the pill. Never ever. Every time I stop taking the pill (I have done that for a few months here and there) I instantly feel a difference. I feel like ME, like Helena.

This thing that stalks me EVERYDAY is what most people would classify as depression. It increases and decreases, but it is always there. Everything is gray. Nothing is fun, exciting, and nothing impresses me. This is something I feel the second I go back on the pill and I feel it every single day from that day. It is horrible for me to even say this but I have come to be a pretty good actress, most of the time anyway. I would act excited when I know I should and I would sound happy when I know I should. But sometimes people see through it, especially my husband. He sees it right away but probably don’t realize how deep it goes… But here goes – I am depressed and I have been depressed for the last six or seven years. Sometimes the depression isn’t as heavy but sometimes it is unbearable. Off course I have wonderful days too and I can enjoy myself but there is a shadow somewhere in there… always.

Heart issues, vision issues, head aches… anyone hearing that bell? I didn’t for years and years. Now it feels like the bell is sitting in my very own ear… I am lucky to be ALIVE! As so many healthy young women fall victim for heart attack and stroke due to Yasmin or Yaz I should feel so lucky I am alive, that I am not them. I am thankful to what caused me to even look into myself and these side effects, I am thankful for all other women before me that have posted their experiences with Yasmin. They made me feel confident that all this is related. They made my feelings real and not imagination. They made me realize that now is the time to stop.

Yesterday morning was my last day on Yasmin… now I will work on stepping out of the gray shadows that have been an evil parasite inside of me for so many years. It is time that my husband gets his real Helena. It is time I get to enjoy who I really am!

I say this now and I will never take it back: I will never, ever take a hormone based birth control ever again. And I will say this to everyone that wants to listen, and probably a few more.

To all my ladies out there: Be strong! We can do it!

Good websites about Yasmin Side Effects
Yasmin Survivors Forum
Yasmin Side Effects at Medications.com